Alien vs. Predator seems like an idiot proof concept to me. Take bad ass villain one and bad ass villain two, thrown in human cannon fodder, much chaos and action ensures. A toddler could nearly write this movie. Hell this concept is perfect for the typical movie writing formula of concept first, movie moment’s seconds, finally the story. Here concept is alien vs. predator, movie moments is much action occurs where two beat crap out of each other while the fodder dies, the story would be what ever takes you from action point to action point. Real simple. Idiot proof.
Sadly Alien vs. Predator (directed and written by Paul W.S. Anderson) is proof that nothing is idiot-proof. Somehow, someway, the director/writer screwed up this concept. The story is crap but who cares. The human fodder crap, but again who cares. One thing that sucks is 20 minutes was spent establishing the fodder. Time wasted away from the action. Here is the problem. What action? Where is the Alien vs. Predator? If looking for that, you are not going to find a whole lot. There are maybe two action sequences in this movie. One is a bad ass CGI flash back; the other was a decent sequence that quickly turned stupid.
Maybe you are thinking that at least get to see the Aliens and the Predator do their own bad ass things. Well, kind of, sometimes. Mostly the Predators come across as ugly humans. Another words they are incompetent. The Aliens act mostly Alien like except they sure do grow up fast and make use of the acid way to much. Also the Alien Queen…yeah suddenly here she is T-Rex size and acts just like one too. Basically Anderson stripped away all the coolness of these characters. They are pale shadows of the original creations. The only reason I can think this occurred is the usual Hollywood arrogance. In this case Anderson saw the movies as a kid like 15 years ago and declared himself expert. Through that haze of memory, a lot of decisions at least track. After all how bad ass can a Predator is is got beat up by Governor Schwarzenegger (thus incompetent) or that Alien Queen got killed by Weaver (thus the T-Rex Alien is born). It’s all I got as explanation because nothing else makes sense.
About the only good thing in this movie are the CGI moments. That’s the only time this movie was good when it was obvious some CGI team did the sequence instead of that retarded director. Also the Alien and Predator costumes etc are top notch. Those teams deserve a pat on the back.
Basically this movie is Joel Schumacher level fuck up. A franchise has been utterly demolished under this imbecile’s hand (how these incompetent directors continue to get work baffles me). I could go further but let’s put it this way; the Predator only killed one Alien. That’s it. The rest where just blown up. That alone should indicate how little “vs.” occurred in this movie.
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