Oh man where to start with all the problems of this movie. Its too long, poorly written, poorly edited, the characters are asses. The lead character sucks and doesn't fit the hero they are trying to make him. They want him flawed but in the end he is beyond redemption because clearly he has learned nothing by movie's end. And the main women, Eva Green, or as I call her "the skeleton." That girl needs to eat more. She is frankly just ugly in ever scene she is in. Not only an ugly women, but crappy actress. If she ever appears in another anything, it will be too soon.
Kingdom of Heaven is about a blacksmith seeking redemption and forgiveness from God after killing a priest taunting him about the death of his wife and mom. And of course nothing is best for forgiveness then going to Jerulesuem and killing a bunch of heathens! So away he goes, after indirectly causing the death of his father, therefore inhereting his lands and responsibilty, to protect the citizens of his land. This is important cause they beat it to death by having him invent stuff apparently his father was too stupid to do, giving his people a properous land. Hurray for the blacksmith. He loves the people. Now how long all this took, who the hell knows. The director couldnt' be bothered to create some kind of hint on time progression. Without that, this movie could have been the progress of days, weeks, months or years. Not a clue. If have an idea let me know. Sadly, after doing the king's sister, the call comes in to defend christiandom. He does this by gallantently charging the masses so the citizentry can get behind the city walls. At least your told this, since the visials do a piss poor job of backing this up. Crap happens, he gets a chance to become king, but turns it down even though its pretty clear that killing one man will save thousands. Of course our man of the citizens says no, cause his little desire for nobility is apparently more imoportant then the lives he claims to want to protect. So here we go big ass fight scene ala lord of the rings. Only not as well done with many pregnant pauses for whatever reason no one understands. Somehow along the way, our blacksmith has become a master war general, coming up with plans, inventions and lots of others things to really stick it to the invaders. Must be nice to be an expert at everything. Now the war he could have avoided he ends, for the people of course. By then, your upset the asshat lived, but glad this overwrought, poorly written movie is over.
Skip this movie, but if determined, wait till its free on TV
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