Alexander

Don't watch this movie...ever. Even if its shows up for free at your doorstep or on tv. Its simply aweful and boring. The only good things going for it is Angelina Jolie and Rosario Dawnson (who shows off a great set of tatas) both of whome looked great on screen. Acting, lines, etc onthe otherhand...

This movie should have been titled "Alexander the Gay". Every scene is just loaded with gay sexual innuedno. I don't care if Alexander was gay there are better ways to express that then inordinate amounts of time being spent on gay looks, lines, and longing stares at the dude that looks feminimn. Take all the innuendo out and you have a 2 hour film instead of three.

Then there are other problems, scenes that go way way to long without conveying important information about the man or his supporters. Usually the first line or two is the core idea and the rest is the "Oscar siloquey" films like this suffer from. They might as well splash up a "for oscar consideration" card before these moments. But again they do nothing for the film. Take these out and you have an hour film instead of three.

What is really sad about this film is it doesn't convey WHY he is called Alexander the Great. Apparently its because his mom said so the way the film shows it. Not because he conquered most of the known world or had progressive ideas of a unified world. These are touched upon in the film but poorly as they Oliver Stone just could not miss opportunies to display more gay inneundo.

The only real good think about this movie is the sets, costume design and CGI being used. Anytime see a new set or costume moment, there is a great wow factor. The CGI people also out did themselves. Babylon, Athens, and other cities where conveyed in amazing detail making you wish they existed today to walk through them, truly gorgeous. To bad Oliver Stone didn't depend on them more, might have had a better movie.

So now you are thinking, what about the battle scenes? They have to be good right? Well no. They could have been. Again when CGI is used, great, when not, aweful. And there was only one real epic battle scene. What messed up the scene was again Oliver Stone's dislike of CGI. You literally lose track of what is occuring during the fight. Because of this it has no impact. All you know is Alexander won. You don't know how. It comes across as dumb luck instead of the military prowess of this great leader. Once again undermining why Alexander is great. Its like Stone intentially wanted to make sure that the only thing you learned when walked away was Alexander is gay because he seemed to undermine any other attempt to draw other conclusions.

Now to the acting and writing. Well frankly it was all garbage, across the board. Not only did a lot of lines seemed cribbed from superior films such as Braveheart and Gladiator but they where delivered poorly and without context. There is zero emotional heft in this movie. Pretty much the actors where phoning it in (such as Jolie) or way way out of their depth (such as Colin Ferrell).

Long story short, this movie has no redeeming value to it. Absolutly nothing. Unless you feel like learning that Oliver Stone thinks Alexander is gay there is nothing to gained from watching this movie except a nap and waste of three hours of your life.